As I’ve mentioned in the past, much to your undoubted excitement, I spend way too much time on Twitter and Tumblr all for the purpose of entertaining you. I mean, if I don’t scour the Internet for GIFs of Brooklyn Decker and Kate Upton, then who will? Sure, I could be rewarded with a Pulitzer one day, but I’ll settle for a Peabody.

In between the GIFs and the jugs, though, I stumble across random sites that simply make me giggle. Today’s chuckle maker comes courtesy of the Tumblr page, The National Foodball League, which combines three of my favorite things – football, puns, and food. If I can appeal to Will Riggins, the artist behind these delightful food (and other) images, I would one day like to see Ryan Bananahill, Veggie Bush, and Flan Carpenter.

I’d make them myself, but I’m fat and it won’t end well.

A while back, some of the FilmDrunk Commentariat and I were helping one of the female commenters come up with a name for her new roller derby schtick, and this made us all very happy because we love any opportunity to come up with ridiculous puns. And we came up with a ton, including Machete White, Amelia Fearhart, and my favorite, Threata Van Sufferin. The point of today’s installment of Cool Story, Bro is that I’ve been introduced to a whole new amazing world of female name puns, thanks to the Collective of Lady Arm Wrestlers.

CLAW travels the country, performing at hipster theatres and such, putting on arm wrestling tournaments that involve 8 local women, who develop and perform different characters for the crowds and celebrity judge panels. And I’m so fascinated by the whole idea that I read an entire article on the NPR website about it. I know, I’m impressed, too.

As to why these ladies do it, the NPR revealed:

“The first time I competed in arm wrestling, I had no idea what I was doing,” says Dyer, a woman in her mid-20s with short brown hair and a slight physique. “And I won.”

“I won the first round. I won the second round. And I almost won the championship round,” she says. “I was like, ‘Holy cow, if this is how well I can do when I haven’t even been training, then man, I gotta start lifting weights.”

Sitting on a bed in a Charlottesville, Va., hotel room, you’d have no idea by looking at her that she was about to make a transformation into a lingerie-clad burlesque entertainer. She looks more like the person she is during her day-job: a genetics researcher at Duke University.

“It’s theatrical, and it’s crazy, and wild, and really, really fun,” she says.

Again, I was sold at the crazy names, and according to the CLAW website, they do not disappoint. They’re also incredibly active in their communities, so I give them a double hat tip, wink and arm flex for their amazing efforts. Check out some of the best CLAW arm wrestlers, as well as one woman’s “daily routine” video that rivals most WWE promos.

Last week, a bat — the living, flying-around animal kind — swooped across home plate and interrupted a Pittsburgh Pirates/Miami Marlins game. It gave us a chance to make lots of “bats = baseball bats” jokes.

Now, as if sent down from Heaven specifically to turn that pun up to 11, a living, flying-around bat interrupted Wednesday’s game between the Atlanta Braves and the Philadelphia Phillies and had to be removed by the bat boy. Clarification alert: not a joke. This is a real thing that happened.

See for yourself:

I think my favorite part of the clip is the announcers, who respond to the image of a bat flopping around on the infield grass with a heartwarming, down-home “awww … som’in’ wrong with it!.”

Seriously though, what’s with all the bats? This is how apocalypse movies start. Like there’s some dude in glasses in Bud Selig’s office right now in the middle of a MR. COMMISSIONER, WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THESE BATS and Bud’s just waving him off.

[via]

Last Friday was the final day on the Mayan Long Count calendar. Some people thought his meant the world was ending, even though the Mayans didn’t believe that. People predicting the end of the world have something in common with economists, in that both can make ridiculous predictions and face little to no consequences for being wrong. So perhaps it’s fitting that economists on Twitter made their final confessions via the hashtag EndOfTheWorldEconfessions.

It started when @DrGooseEcon made a joke and hashtagged it as an economist’s confession. Soon after, others were making nerdy math and economics jokes in the form of a confession. Any time you’ve got a bunch of people making nerdy puns, we’ll be there.

Our 30 favorite puns and fake admissions from #EndOfTheWorldEconfessions are collected below. Thanks to Freakonomics for the assist.

Here’s the unassuming tweet that started it all. [via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

I’d watch Walrus Court. [via]

[via]

An economic who votes? So rebellious. [via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

There’s always one of these. [via]

Sh-t just got real. [via]

[via]

I think I was roommates with this guy. [via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

Rejected racing horse names are hilarious and yes I am 12 years old. |via BioTV|

Good God, Lemon: The Definitive Collection Of Liz Lemon Reaction GIFs |UPROXX|

Bow Down To Your New Lord And Master, The Chainsaw Slingshot Guy |With Leather|

In Most Devious Act Yet, Ndamukong Suh Saves The Life Of Louie Anderson |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Ashton Kutcher hurt himself method acting |Film Drunk|

T.I. Talks Bidding War, Guns, Reality Shows & Former Foes |Smoking Section|

10 Of Today’s Best Television Showrunners And Their Embarrassing Early Writing Gigs |

Tupac Listens To Lil Wayne |High Definite|

Pee-Wee Herman Cycling Suit |Technabob|

8 Things You Can Learn From Justin Timberlake |Giant Life|

111 movie sequels that are currently in the works. Yikes |Fark|

7 Bizarre Re-Imaginings of Pride and Prejudice |Mental Floss|

Flowchart: What TV Show Are You Watching? |College Humor|

Five Movies with Special Effects Ahead of Their Time |Unreality|

Here’s Kate Upton Modeling Moderately Priced Shoes |Buzzfeed|

20 Underappreciated Gems Currently Playing on Netflix Instant |Pajiba|

Awesome ‘Life Hacks’ You’d Never Think Of Yourself |HuffPost Comedy|

Ever Wonder What a 71-Year Old Grandma Prostitute Looks Like? |Brobible|

Like us on Facebook | Follow us on Twitter | Headline of the day.

[Pre-photoshop version of inset picture via Sam Has Eyebrows via Reddit.]

Entertainment Weekly just did an interview with COPS post producer Mitsuo Goto, who is in charge of exactly what and how much to blur on Fox’s long-running, shirtless-idiot-arresting reality show. I found the whole thing interesting because I spent like 40% of college on a couch watching marathons of COPS and World’s Wildest Police Chases, but the highlight definitely came when they asked Goto about the weirdest thing he has ever had to blur.

Belly is an honorable mention. Once in a while, an obese man will have a stomach that hangs so low, it technically covers his genitals, but Goto will wind up blurring the bottom portion of the guy’s stomach anyway. “Standards-and-practices thinks that’s naked enough,” he explains.

But here’s your winner: In a prostitution case from season 11, the police entered a house and the cameras captured a shirtless man lying on the floor with a yapping Chihuahua on his back. “It was a funny shot, so Fox used it in on-air promotion,” he remembers. “And then the same guy called Fox and said, ‘This dog is an actor, and he has an agent, and I didn’t sign a release for him.’” Goto had to reopen the episode and blur the Chihuahua’s face, and even obscured another barking dog in the room. [EW]

AHAHAHAHA.

THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD. THEY HAD TO BLUR THE DOG’S FACE BECAUSE IT WAS AN ACTOR. I GUESS IT WOULD HAVE MADE IT PRETTY RUFF FOR HIM TO GET WORK AFTER THIS, HUH? I MEAN, THAT OWNER WOULD HAVE REALLY BEEN IN THE AGENT’S DOGHOUSE, YOU KNOW? THE POOR GUY WOULD HAVE CALLED A TON OF CASTING AGENTS AND SAID “COME ON, WE GO BACK A LONG TIME. THROW ME A BONE HERE,” BUT THEY WOULD HAVE ALL TOLD HIM HE WAS BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE. AFTER ALL, IT’S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD OUT THERE IN HOLLYWOOD. AHAHAHAHA.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Orion Girl (Star Trek) by Jessica LG, photographed by Devious Body Art. [via]

It’s that time of the week when we post a mixed bag of intriguing costumes we’ve spotted recently. Some of it’s new; some of it isn’t; all of it is worth highlighting.

Are you a cosplayer or photographer who would like to be featured on Gamma Squad? Upload your photos to our Flickr group to be considered.

Onward to the gallery:

(Click pictures to enlarge.)

Dick Grayson Robin cosplayed by TimDrakeRobin [via]

Mad Moxxi (Borderlands) cosplayed by MonoAbel, photographed by Varian Kaveli. [via]

Mad Moxxi (Borderlands) cosplayed by MonoAbel, photographed by Varian Kaveli. [via]

Psycho (Borderlands) photographed by David Ngo (DTJAAAAM)

[via]

Spider-Woman cosplayed by Kit Quinn of the Sweethearts of the Galaxy kickstarter, photographed by Rodney Brown. More pictures at CBM.

It’s-a me, nightmare fuel! [via / via]

Onion Knight (Final Fantasy) photographed by David Ngo (DTJAAAAM)

Deal with it. [via]

[via]

McLovin meows underwater during his bath. We know that feel, bro. |via Obvious Winner|

Chronicling Sterling Archer’s Many, Many Injuries, Ailments, And Gunshot Wounds |UPROXX|

This Week in Posters: The Hangover 3, 1st look at Harrison Ford in Anchorman |Film Drunk|

FOX Sports 1 Network Promises Even More Free Live UFC Events |With Leather|

The Insane Idea Behind The ‘Up All Night’ Reboot That Drove Christina Applegate Off The Series |Warming Glow|

Welkah Testing The Mahhket Is A Remindah That Sparts Is Purelay A Business |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

7 Mixtape Stars Who Faded Into Obscurity |Smoking Section|

YouTube HOF: James Franco |Grantland|

Breaking Bad: 1995 Sitcom Style |Clip Nation|

Homemade Iron Man 3 Trailer |High Definite|

Rachel Weisz Is Perfection. NO ONE DENIES THIS. |Pajiba|

10 Medical Tools You’re Glad Only Exist in Museums |Mental Floss|

Guy Builds the Greatest Video Game Weapon Arsenal Ever |Technabob|

Dog Listens To ‘Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta’ |HuffPost Comedy|

Rappers And Taxes: Can They Write Off Strip Club Expenses? |Giant Life|

6 Kickstarters from the People Who Usually Ask for Money |College Humor|

Shaq Finally Gets Revenge on Aaron Carter from 2001’s ‘How I Beat Shaq’ |Brobible|

30 Rock’s Five Top Musical Moments, Picked By the Show’s Composer, Jeff Richmond |Vulture|

Like us on Facebook | Follow us on Twitter | Console this dog. [Picture via Pleated Jeans.]

Even The Westboro Baptist Church Loves Jennifer Lawrence |UPROXX|

Here’s Every Pam Poovey Food Prop From ‘Archer’ |Warming Glow|

‘Action Stars Shooting At Dogs’ Debuts With Mel Gibson |Film Drunk|

My New Favorite Thing: TRON Hockey |With Leather|

10 Redman Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

How to Properly React to Free Agency |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

The Internet’s Best Steve Buscemi Tributes |UPROXX|

Hilarious North Korean Propaganda Film Says Americans ‘Eat Birds’ and Drink ‘Hot Snow’ as Coffee |Brobible|

Five Ways Joel and Mike from “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ are Better than Each Other |Pajiba|

NES Console with Built-in Screen |Technabob|

Titus’s Top 12 NCAA Power Rankings |Grantland|

Music from the UK: An Infographic |High Definite|

Louis C.K. Silences Audience Member |Clip Nation|

Kelly Rowland Likes Her “Kisses Down Low” |Giant Life|

11 Things the Veronica Mars Movie Has to Have |Vulture|

This French Toilet Paper Ad Is Perfect |HuffPost Comedy|

11 Times Companies Bowed to Customer Outcry |Mental Floss|

Pope Francis Kinda Looks Like George Bluth Sr. |College Humor|

VIDEO BELOW: Rogue the driving dog is back with a new ride. |via HYST|

Like us on Facebook | Follow us on Twitter | And you know science.

[Pictures via Tastefully Offensive and Reddit.]

You’ve surely seen us raving about Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, the neon-drenched, pun-filled, ’80s cheesefest released as a stand-alone DLC (so you don’t have to own Far Cry 3 to play it). It’s better than the original Far Cry 3 and may become a full-blown franchise. Now we have a pitch-perfect parody and a supercut to enjoy.

MikeDiva released a fake movie trailer based on Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. What’s the most spot-on about this ’80s action flick ridiculousness? Is it the cheesy one-liners? The dialogue consisting solely of cliches? The villain with a God complex and a metal appendage? The sidekick hacking the Gibson with “just wave your hands near the keyboard” movie typing? The FLYING METAL LASER SHARK!!!?

It’s all so perfect.

(NSFW audio)

If that seems too cheesy to be similar to the original, just compare it to this NSFW compilation of the best and worst one-liners delivered by Michael Biehn (Terminator) as protagonist Rex “Power” Colt in Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. Unfortunately, it doesn’t include the part about him making us a blanket out of six feet of his sh-t, but it does include the poetic, “Blah blah blah kill blah blah blah.” It’s like Raymond Chandler all up in this piece.

(NSFW audio)

[Sources: SuperPunch and Kotaku]

Hanksy’s Meth Rogan

Our favorite pop culture mashup street artist Hanksy has been posting street art around Los Angeles to promote his first West coast art exhibition. The show, How The West Was Pun, opened at Gallery 1988 this weekend and runs until June 15th. Already we’re seeing quite a bit of development in his style since his first exhibition last year.

Hanksy, a law school dropout from the Midwest, revealed in an LA Weekly interview that he was arrested while putting up his Weird Al Yankovic mural to promote the show. (He returned the next day to finish it. Haters gonna hate.) Our favorite part of the interview was his answer to the question, “Does your art have a message?”

“You could say that it’s a response to street art being accepted by the general public or me subversing the subversive. But that’s bullshit. I just want people to have a chuckle and laugh about it. It’s not terribly thought provoking or somber or serious like a lot of street art is. It’s supposed to brighten someone’s day. My general message is don’t take yourself too seriously.”

An art show that isn’t steeped in pretentious descriptions and the smell of its own farts? That’s refreshing!

Also, how can we not love an art show with a giant inflated Tom Hanks rat in front of the building? The Surly Badger was at the opening and sent in this picture taken at the door.

Some of our favorite works from Hanksy’s How The West Was Pun are collected below, along with some of the street art posted around Los Angeles in the lead-up to the show. Pictures via Gallery 1988 and Laughing Squid, and prints for some of these are still for sale at the link under each photo.

Tron Swanson [via]

Turd On A Wire (Kim Kardashian) [via]

“Cage Against The Machine” [via]

“Pie Hard” [via]

“The Walken Dead” [via]

“Weird Gal” [via]

The Great Gatspee [via]

“Meth Rogen” [via]

“Stark & Recreation” [via]

“The Great Gatspee” [via]

“Will Feral L.A.” [via]

“Brick Moranis” [via]

“Ghostbuster Bluth” [via]

Milk Jagger [via]

“After Birth” [via]

“Bi-Curious George” [via]

Daft Skunk [via]

“DJamie Fox” [via]

“Degene-saur-es Rex” [via]

“Win-Doh!” [via]

“Jason Seagull” [via]

“Ted Dancin” [via]

You had me at JELL-O [via]

“Hanksy Rat” [via]

“I don’t know who Hanksy is, but I enjoy his comments via the semi-chaos of artistic expression.” — Tom Hanks

Kid Loki (Lil Prince) and Leah (Sina) photographed by Carlos Adama.

It’s that time of the week when we post a mixed bag of intriguing costumes we’ve spotted recently. Some of it’s new; some of it isn’t; all of it is worth highlighting.

Are you a cosplayer or photographer who would like to be featured on Gamma Squad? Upload your photos to our Flickr group to be considered.

Onward to the gallery:

Lakitu (Mario Kart) [via]

Cobra Commander photographed by V Threepio.

Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and actress Arielle Vandenberg as “Florence + The Machine”, photographed by Lucy Two Bows.

Necromancer Eve (Guild Wars) photographed by Greyloch. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

The Joker photographed by State Farm.

Animal Crossing cosplayers photographed by Mitchel25J. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

Dark Phoenix photographed by millermz.

Meridah (Brave) photographed by M@rcello.

HADOUKEN-ATE! Photographed by Mineralblu. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

We’d like to think this cat is cosplaying Doc Brown. [via]

Xerxes I and Spartans (300) photographed by androg0000.

It’s that time of the week when we post a mixed bag of intriguing costumes we’ve spotted recently. Some of it’s new; some of it isn’t; all of it is worth highlighting.

Are you a cosplayer or photographer who would like to be featured on Gamma Squad? Upload your photos to our Flickr group to be considered.

Onward to the gallery:

Rik and Vyvyan (The Young Ones) photographed by Greyloch. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

Goblin Queen cosplayed by BelleChere, photographed by Tobias Roybal.

Han Solo Cup [via]

via @starwars

Danger Zone! Lana (Archer) photographed by mayanmambo. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

Tony Stark photographed by millermz.

Cable (X-Men) cosplayed by Nicole Marie Jean, photographed by Pat Loika. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

Epbot spotted this Oscar The Grouch at Dragon*Con.

He hates these cans! (Photographed by Dave Coustan.)

Gillykins as Raven and JJABarrett as Red Robin (Teen Titans) photographed by Edward Liu.

It’s that time of the week when we post a mixed bag of intriguing costumes we’ve spotted recently. Some of it’s new; some of it isn’t; all of it is worth highlighting.

Are you a cosplayer or photographer who would like to be featured on Gamma Squad? Upload your photos to our Flickr group to be considered.

Onward to the gallery:

Kristina as Triss and Vladislav as Geralt from Witcher 3 winning a ribbon at Igromir 2013 (photographed by Sergey Galyonkin).

Ya-ya Han cosplaying Sif (Thor) photographed by Greyloch. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

Photographed by Rizwan Baig.

Jigsaw (Saw) photographed by Joe Abbruscato.

YES! Rule 63 M. Bison (Street Fighter) photographed by Pat Loika.

Sherlock’s address. Yes, someone cosplayed an address. This is the power of Cumberbatch. [via]

The Huntress photographed by nerdjohn. Submitted via the Gamma Squad Flickr Group.

“Gundam Style” photographed by digital_rex.

“Ariel mourns a loss” — Marlo Meekins. [via]

Reddit has entered the realm of the surreal with a new meme, The Overly Suave IT Guy. Is there such a thing? The memes feature the stock photo model seen above. (Well, at least he has the computer pointed in the correct direction. So skilled with computers!) These image macros are replete with dirty computer-related puns which are almost universally not suave, but that’s dudes on Reddit for you.

Our 25 favorite pictures from the meme — and pictures poking fun at the meme — are collected below. All pictures via Reddit and Mashable.

(Banner via)

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via / via]

[via / via]

[via / via]

[via / via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

These next ones especially far from suave. [via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

Bill Gates: original suave(ish) IT guy. [via]

This lobster makes a good point. [via]

[via]

Chris Hemsworth was on Conan last night, which the Warming Glow side of things will go into depth about later, but we just wanted to focus on one part of Hemsworth’s interview that’s near and dear to us: Thor puns. If you’ve been following our coverage of Thor: The Dark World (in theaters today) and other Marvel movies, you know we love a silly Thor pun.

Conan showed Chris Hemsworth several of these puns, and Hemsworth was a great sport about them. You could even say he was… *sunglasses* …low key.

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

(Team Coco)

Cardboard cutouts of the Rock either doing the People’s Eyebrow or at least wearing an unbuttoned leather vest used to be ubiquitous in nearly every mall in America. Now, some young (CM) punk has taken over, and the only place you can buy a life-sized Rock is on the Internet, at every WWE event, or in Idaho, apparently, because that’s where Reddit user MariettaLittlelamb hails from, and she’s been having some with her Dwayne.

She uploaded nearly two dozen photos of herself posing with the Rock while the two are having some of the best/worst pun-based fun one can have with a cardboard wrestler, like ROCK climbing and ROCKin’ horse. Fake Rock is actually more likable and charismatic than real Rock was in Tooth Fairy.

It’s hard to believe Valentine’s Day is less than two weeks away. It seems like only yesterday we were watching the Super Bowl and huffing paint. Good times. Now we’re continuing our tradition from last year of collecting funny valentines made by pop culture fans.

These 25 valentines celebrate the holiday with plenty of music, movie, and TV references. As always, you can also view them as a single page.

(Banner via)

Workaholics [via]

[via]

One of the six Rob Ford valentines by Scotty2naughty.

[via / via]

[via]

[via]

Game of Thrones valentines (for sale here).

[via]

The Walking Dead [via]

More Arrested Development valentine cards by Marisa Sequin available here.

More Arrested Development valentine cards by Marisa Sequin available here.

Project Runway [via / via]

More Transformers valentines here.

More Transformers valentines here.

All right then. [via]

[via]

More presidential valentines here.

More presidential valentines here.

More presidential valentines here.

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

[via]

Check out the rest of our funny valentines HERE.

Each year we like to share several geeky, funny valentines before Valentine’s Day, to give you plenty of time to snag some for your friends, family, and sex robot. (What? You didn’t get yours yet? It’s 2014. Get with the times.)

Last year’s geeky valentines are available here and here. Continue on for 25 more funny valentines starting with this sexy robot right here:

(Made by Burnsy. Banner via)

[via]

More Avengers valentines available here.

More Avengers valentines available here.

More Star Trek: The Next Generation valentines available here.

More Star Trek: The Next Generation valentines available here.

Street Fighter valentine by Sailor Swayze.

Street Fighter valentine by Sailor Swayze.

Street Fighter valentine by Sailor Swayze.

Check out the rest of this valentine at Patrick McQuade’s shop.

More Lord Of The Rings valentines available here.

More Lord Of The Rings valentines available here.

More Lord Of The Rings valentines available here.

Marvel valentines (for sale here)

One of the free printable Portal valentines at EPBOT.

One of the free printable Portal valentines at EPBOT.

One of the free printable Portal valentines at EPBOT.

Avengers valentine made by Alicia (for sale here)

The Hobbit valentine made by Alicia (for sale here)

Dalek (Doctor Who) valentine by Katrina Constantine.

R2-D2 (Star Wars) valentine by Katrina Constantine.

Adventure Time [via]

Chewbacca valentine available free here.

Rubik’s Cube valentine available free here.

[via]

Check out the rest of our funny valentines HERE.

Earlier this week we brought you 25 funny valentines made by dedicated pop culture fans and some geeky valentines as well. Now we’re bringing you another 25 valentines celebrating the holiday as it should be celebrated, with silly puns and sarcastic jokes based primarily on TV shows and movies.

This set includes funny valentines based on True Romance, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Sherlock, and more. There’s even a cameo by Broadway Joe Namath. As always, you can also view them as a single page.

(Banner via)

Check out the rest of this True Romance valentine at Patrick McQuade’s shop.

Bob’s Burgers [via]

Hey, is that Joe Namath? [via]

Prometheus valentine made by Eibmoz.

More Sherlock valentines here.

For sale here.

More Game of Thrones pickup lines here.

[via]

For sale here. [via]

Man, that ain’t right. Oh, wait, those are the actual lyrics… [via]

[via]

Avengers valentines (for sale here)

Avengers valentines (for sale here)

Avengers valentines (for sale here)

Avengers valentines (for sale here)

[via]

[via]

[via / via]

[via]

More Harry Potter valentines by Saintelumiere available here.

Breaking Bad valentines by Beth Evans.

Breaking Bad valentines by Beth Evans.

[via]

[via]

Check out the rest of our funny valentines HERE.